The Polite One's Insights

Exploring the Gift Mania Craze How and when did this happen?   It seems that suddenly, the masses consider most any occasion a gift-giving situation.   Taking it a greedy step further, the gift-crazed often create personalized gift-giving events.   Even worse, these gift-miners inform their dollar-poor guests what gifts they prefer.   To that, I must say, “Yikes!”   Some etiquette rules evolved due to this phenomenon.   Whereas in the past, it was inappropriate to mention ‘no gifts please’ in birthday, graduation, vow renewal, and anniversary party invitations, now we can.   It was inevitable.   After all, when so many feel entitled to a gift, we need a little guidance.     Let us try to remember the basics.   Gifts should be given from the heart and because we want to give.   Most importantly, we should never expect one for any occasion.   Here is a bit of Q & A to help get us back on the proper etiquette roa...

  Graduation Party Etiquette Every May, I receive a flood of questions concerning graduation party etiquette.  Some questions make me a bit queasy.  Nevertheless, the etiquette consultant in me won't allow it to show up in my answers even though I'd like to say, "You're kidding, right?"   The most Tums-worthy are questions concerning registering and gift requests.  Some parents are convinced that their child deserves a graduation party – including gifts – for minor achievements.  Unbelievably, this includes graduating from kindergarten to first grade.  I wish I were kidding, but no.    As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children values.  One of those most important values is empathy which begins with learning they are not the center of the universe. Rather, they are part of a grand world where they should participate and contribute.   In addition, they need to learn ...

Interview With an Etiquette Consultant As an etiquette consultant, I receive countless etiquette questions.  Many of these questions are from anchors from our local television networks.  So, I’m frequently interviewed.  As is typical this time of year, these interviews concern graduation party etiquette.  The most recent interview was more of a quiz, which made for a lively segment.  Of course, I would have loved to have begun by emphasizing what is most important: people over gifts.  Many times, grads – and their parents – place too much focus on gifts and not enough on their guests.  Unfortunately, due to time constraints, I only had time to quiz my favorite anchors.  It was a very enjoyable segment, and I was able to stump both anchors.  Read on to see if you do any better with your answers. Question number one: For whom may I host a graduation party? A. Kindergarten, high school, and ...