The Polite One's Insights

Not Grandma's Dating Etiquette Kiss on the first date? And, who pays? From many years of interviewing hundreds if not thousands of people, I have found the dating etiquette of today a bit different than in earlier years.  In the past, there were clear, distinct rules about almost every aspect of the date: the man asks the lady, he plays the gentleman, and he pays.  Today, there are some interesting similarities and a few welcome differences. Ladies and gentlemen take your places! Apparently, what is old is new again.  When celebrities start taking etiquette lessons, one can only assume that etiquette is cool once more. Angelina Jolie studied manners for her movie role in the movie Tourist and Sean Diddy hired an etiquette coach for his staff.  Both had and have reasons to craft positive gentlemen and ladylike images.  And, why is this so important and pertinent for the date?  First impressions a...

Skip the Typical Chick Flicks This V’Day  What are you planning for the most romantic day of the year?   Instead of going out for dinner and a movie, how about staying in?   Cook a romantic dinner and watch a movie for just you two.  During pandemic years, this is our best bet anyway!    For this evening, let’s consider three romantic movies of the ‘80s that both men and women might enjoy.  The Princess Bride  (1987) with Cary Elwes and Robin Wright   Lying in bed with a cold, the little boy’s grandfather begins telling a story.  After the first few sentences of the book, the little one sighs, “Ah no, is this going to be a kissing book?”    Intelligent and with perfect comedic timing, this story pokes fun at love stories and fairy tales, all the while unfolding an endearing love story.   It’s this back and forth between, love, action, and betrayal – wit...

Relationship Advice: Poll of 13 to 85 year-olds 1. Would you rather go on an old-fashion date or one of no gender expectations?  A)    Yes B)    No, I can open my own car door C)    It doesn’t matter Over 85% of all interviewed appeared to prefer old fashion dating manners.  Most men stated that they want to provide a memorial evening including all the old fashion manners mentioned.  20-30-year-old age group really want to know old-fashion manners rules. 2.  Is it appropriate for the woman to ask the man out for a date? A)    No B)    Yes C)    It’s best if the man asks, but it’s alright if she does  Answer   Both genders feel it’s best for the man to ask. Most consider the restaurant date the most appropriate for the first date.  3.  Should the man be expected to pick up the tab? A) ...

Have you ever been dumped by a boyfriend, girlfriend, or just a friend-friend?   It isn’t a great feeling and can be devastating, especially when it comes at us as a complete and total surprise. Like, “Gee, I didn’t see that coming.”   Now, imagine if all your friends and a bunch of strangers were in on it before you, as if your significant advertised it in the New York Times.   Is this how you would wish to be treated?   Just thinking about it brings about the image of a hammer hitting a delicate vase creating a pile of shattered glass where once stood a beautiful flower vessel…and there goes another heartache .   Well, this appears to be a current popular trend on social networks like Facebook, which is a site built to help all of us stay connected with our friends and family, a place to make friends, to build relationships, and to keep them.   However, we can also crush a relationship by changing our status from “in a relationship” to “looking” on ...

If dining in a restaurant Make reservations well in advance. Mind your manners--be quiet. Brush up on your table manners beforehand. Talk to each other! Allow each other time to speak.   Listen and don't interrupt.   Don't broach these topics: former loves, bodily functions, complaints, religion, and politics. At the Prom Don't ditch your date .   Enter and dance the first and last dance with your date.   Behave like a gentleman and lady. She sits first and enters all rooms before him unless she is at his side.   Unbreakable Rules Stay sober . Turn off the cellphones--no texting. Don’t break up with your date that day! Please Read Everyday Manners: Middle Schoolers Teach Us About Manners Anti-Clueless Advice: How To Plan The Perfect Graduation Party Prom Etiquette: Planning a Perfect Prom Q & A 

  Events of Prom night are often burned into our memory like a movie that plays repeatedly throughout our lifetime.  Therefore, planning well is extremely important as I detailed in a previous article .   Even more important than planning well is remembering your manners, displaying courtesy toward your date, and realizing the etiquette expected of you.  So, gentlemen and ladies, let's get our game faces on!  It's time for Prom! Covid Warning: This advice is based on all of us being protected from a deadly virus.  Please be safe and wait until it is safe to socialize.   If Dining at a Restaurant As I mentioned in my previous article, it is perfectly appropriate to dine at home with your date.   However, if going to a restaurant , there are etiquette rules to note.   Most importantly, remember your basic manners.   One of which is to walk to your date's door to pick her up.   Don't just honk your horn. ...

  Although snow may still lie on the ground, it's time to begin planning for your prom.   There are many decisions to make, from transportation, attire, and dinner. Most importantly, who will be your date?   Covid Warning: This advice is based on all of us being protected from a deadly virus.  Please be safe and wait until it is safe to socialize.   How to Begin? If you decide to go, ask your date, or accept an invitation early. This gives you time to coordinate your attire.   Additionally, if your date is from another school, inform him/her of the proper attire. May I go to the Prom alone? There is nothing wrong in attending solo or with a group of friends.   In fact, this might be preferable as there is less stress; you don't have to try to please anyone.   If attending with friends, include them in the transportation and dinner planning.   How will you get there? Hiring a limousine is a popular option but can be awfully e...

Answers based on a survey of 100+ respondents Survival Guide for Men Let's face it.   Valentine's Day is a perilous day for men.   She may be optimistic with high expectations and you cannot get it right.   Sigh.   I agree that it's just not fair, and also that Valentine's Day shouldn’t be only about opening a wallet.    With that in mind, here’s a short tutorial on women that might help you stay out of the doghouse and wow that special person in your life this February 14.   Understanding the Double X Consider why women tend to like " Chic Flicks .” It’s all about romance, baby.   Many women crave a partner who make them feel special and loved.    Give her romance and your ladylove will be impressed.     Appeal to this side of her and your evening may just involve more than just a peck on the check.   Train for the evening by watching a few of her favorite girly films to gain perspective of what she might apprec...

  Are you ready for Valentine's Day? Just for kicks and giggles, I decided to compare opinions about dating with different age groups.  Remarkably, the expectations of each group surprised me, especially with the young.  Buckle up.  This just may surprise you too! Questions Asked: " What was your best date and why ?" The age groups were varied: teens (12-17); 20 to 30-year-olds; and 50+. My expectations: youngest to focus on kissing; 20 to 30-year-olds to focus on Valentine gifts, and oldsters focus on potential relationship material.   Uh... not so much.   Surprisingly, all focused on becoming comfortable with their date, communicating, treating, or being treated as special, and FUN.   What does this mean for all of us? In my opinion, the survey results reveal that expensive gifts and dinners are unnecessary to impress our love.   Our love interest appears to be more interested in being heard and understood.   They yearn to be he...