The Polite One's Insights

  Giving gifts during the holidays can be tricky, expensive, and, at times, embarrassing if we “regift” improperly.  Follow along as I cover what most have queried in the past.  Can Re-Gifting be Done Politely? Of course, but it must be done very carefully.  Here are the rules: The receiver shouldn’t know the original giver.  The gift must be in the original packaging and never used.  It shouldn’t be a unique or a useless gift.  The original card should be removed.  It should be something the giver is sure the receiver would want. General Gift-Giving Suggestions Often givers feel obligated so often don’t give thoughtful gifts .  Also, many are confused and do not know who they should give gifts to.  So, we should only give gifts to those whom we really want to give and consider the person as we choose the gift.  This also means that we can and should keep our gift-giving list intimate. Give from the heart. Some...

Happy holidays!  Welcome to the season of heightened and widely varying emotions and behaviors.  Holidays should bring us closer, but distractions often hinder our efforts.  Brick and mortar stores make it easier and easier to shop-till-you-drop by opening earlier and earlier.  Now the populous can push, shove, and sling never-ending profanities when they should be enjoying their pumpkin pie with family.  Alternately, there is always that kind person paying it forward by purchasing a cup of coffee for the customer behind him.  The barrage of unkind and kind behaviors makes me a bit dizzy each year.  You too?  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a set of holiday rules everyone is required to read?  It would be even better if we all agreed to follow these rules.  Better yet, we all agree to use these rules going forward.  Now that would make all my holiday dreams come true.  We Are Not the Center of the Universe Surpris...

  The holidays arrive with a flurry of family events, the first of which is Thanksgiving.  Many of us consider thankfulness, like being thankful for the food on our plate and the good health of our family—especially during Covid.  Definitely, these are worthy of our thanks.  Create a Focus But in the realities of the day, we are probably also most thankful when the entire family can sit down peaceably and behave in a cordial manner, which is a stretch at times.  Often when a bunch of personalities sits at one table, even family , at least one person says something to upset another.  It may help for all of us to focus on what is important.  It isn’t who baked the best pie or who gets to sit next to grandpa.  It is, in essence, time and people.  We are taking the time to spend with those who matter most to us.  Now that we have our focus, perhaps it is time to discuss some strategies and rules.  Start with a Plan While ...

Steps to Follow For Stress-Free Family Gatherings The family dynamic is changing ever faster and diversifying with multiple parental figures, spouses, sets of grandparents, and stepsiblings to visit and host during the holidays. Fold into this crazy mixture, different religions, ethnicities, and political leanings and it may be difficult to get along and enjoy this holiday season.  Therefore, we need a game plan.  Schedule and Separate If hosting, it is best to schedule different times for the divorced and never mention the former spouse unless asked directly.  Separation is best.  Speaking of separation, keep combatants as far apart as possible.  State the rules upfront: no discussion of ...usual button-pushing topics.  Simply, rules should include avoidance of politics or religion during family visits unless everyone shares the same beliefs.  For those guests visiting from out of town, reserve private time to visit—unless this isn't your f...

  The principals of Halloween Etiquette are no different from any other form of etiquette; everyone involved should display respect, consideration, and courtesy for others and their property.  But what are the rules of Halloween Etiquette?  Let’s review.  Treat-or-Treaters Respect People When receiving a treat, say “thank you,” even if it is a toothbrush.  No lights = no knock.  Darkened houses are off-limits.  We must assume they do not participate.  No knocking on doors after 8 pm.  Children are usually in bed by 8-8:30. Only ring the doorbell or knock on the door once.  Gather in groups no larger than five, more than that and children become too excited and noisy.  Many work outside the home and have no time to decorate.  If there is an outdoor light on but no decorations, assume that the homebodies didn’t have time to decorate.  They are fair game. If teens wish to trick or treat, they should dre...

Some feel obligated to give gifts and thus don’t give thoughtful gifts.  Also, many are confused and do not know who they should give gifts to.  So, we should give gifts to only those with whom we want to give and consider the person’s preferences as we choose the gift .  This also means that we can and should keep our gift-giving list intimate. Gift Givers Give from the Heart Give something you feel the recipient would like. It’s only good manners . Give to only to those you wish to give to. Gift Cards are Fine As with other types of gifts, give the gift card the receiver would want. Know the receiver well. Gift Receivers Wear Your Happy Face Receive each gift with a positive response even if it isn’t what you would have chosen for yourself. A gift is special. Regift Carefully This can be done if handled correctly. The receiver shouldn’t know the original giver. The gift must be in the original packaging and never used. It shouldn’t be a unique, p...

  Holiday Etiquette 101: Parties, Attire and More. Happy holidays!  Welcome to the season of heightened and widely varying emotions and behaviors. Holidays should bring us closer, but distractions often hinder our efforts.  Brick and mortar stores make it easier and easier to shop-till-you-drop by opening earlier and earlier.  Now the populace can push, shove, and sling never-ending profanities when they should be enjoying their pumpkin pie with family.   Alternately, there is always that kind person who pays it forward by purchasing a cup of coffee for the customer behind him.  The barrage of unkind and kind behaviors makes me a bit dizzy each year.  You too?  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a set of holiday rules everyone is required to read?  It would be even better if we all agreed to follow these rules.  Better yet, we all agree to use these rules going forward.  Now that...

  Etiquette 101: How-To Host a Perfect Holiday Party Ah, the smell of cinnamon sticks simmering in apple cider, the sound of laughter bouncing off walls, the sight of mistletoe dangling from the ceiling.  It must be the holiday party season!  With the holidays in sight, all would-be party planners are in high gear.   However, as the season progresses, those gears tend to get bogged down a bit with anxiety over nagging questions of decorum.  Because hosts want their guests to enjoy the party, they are uncertain about a myriad of issues.  Thus, have many questions.  Let us go over a few.        How soon do you send out invites for a holiday party ? The holiday season tends to become a blur with the numerous demanding engagements, gift shopping, and heightened emotions.  Therefore, it is best to send holiday party invitations at least three weeks in advance.  Evit...

  Halloween Etiquette Ghosts, ghouls, trick-or-treaters...oh my!  Halloween is the favorite holiday of many.  In fact, the national average, per-person spending on Halloween is well over $70. Since it appears we enjoy this holiday and enjoy sharing it with others, we really should consider the etiquette involved.   There are three major players in this Halloween game: trick -or-treaters, parents/escorts (those who escort the trick-or-treaters), and homebodies (candy suppliers).  Each of these players has very specific etiquette to follow.  Homies Those who choose to participate should make every effort to provide a safe environment by clearing the entry of anything that could be harmful to young ones.  Remember, they will be in costumes that may limit their eyesight. When they reach the door, smile, they are guests.  Offer candy to all, including escorts.   Besides the fact t...