The Polite One's Insights

As an etiquette teacher, I'm often amazed at some of the odd behaviors I witness in grocery stores. I'm not alone.   Ask around and you will probably get an ear full about the clueless and impolite. Unfortunately, poor public behavior bordering on downright rude appears to be on the rise.   These poor behaviors resulted in an interview with me on a local network a few years ago. Since there's obviously interest, I've created a short tutorial on grocery store etiquette.   What is proper aisle etiquette? Whether it's hogging the entire aisle while searching for an item or chatting with another, we should realize that we share this space.  Be aware of where your cart is and that it is not obstructing others' progress.  Step to the side as others approach when in a conversation.  Everything we do affects others.  Therefore, we should all strive to affect others in a positive manner and never emulate the entitled "me first" persona.   ...

When visiting a restaurant, take your manners with you.  Please remember, in all cases, you are visiting and are a guest, as the restaurant is someone else’s property, so we respect it and all who are there.  Do Take your manners . Dress appropriately for the formality of the venue.  Dress conservatively.  Too much cleavage can be distracting. Use your parenting skills and mind the little ones. Use indoor voices. Turn the cell phone off. Remove the earbud from your ear; no one will beam you up anyway. Treat wait-staff politely. Ask about unusual ingredients and how the dish is prepared—fewer returned dishes.  Wait until everyone has received their meals before beginning to eat. Leave a tip of 15% to 25% of the pre-tax bill. Privately communicate if there is a problem with the meal, service, or venue.  The restaurant owner usually wants to know of any problems.  Don’t Be late!  Be on time for reservations. Wear hats...

  According to government studies of school shootings, including an impressive document from the Department of Education, bullying can cause anger and thus has caused those bullied to strike out and shoot their fellow students.  Bullying includes name-calling, taunts, and physical contact.  Many school shooters claimed they had been treated badly and simply wanted payback.  Reflecting on this, could human behavior or bullying, have played a part in the tiger mauling a few years ago?  This is not to say that we should blame the victim, which is, in my opinion, a travesty.  But there are more than human victims here aren’t there.  As it stands, we do not know for sure, as several sources state, that the boys who survived the tiger mauling bullied and taunted her and may have instigated the attack.  Whether they did or didn’t doesn’t bring the young man or the tiger back to us.  But just the idea that they could have, necessitates a...

  You’ve just been invited to a dinner party from a new neighbor’s home.  Undoubtedly you want to make a good impression.  It would be great to be on everyone’s guest list.  So, how do the best guests behave?  Read on to find out. Thank The Host As soon as you receive the invitation, thank the host, and offer to bring something. Take a hostess gift.  It may be a bottle of wine, flowers, or even a small box of chocolate.  You've Arrived.  Now What? Do not bring food except for a box of candy—or something similar—as a gift.  If you have offered to bring something and the host has agreed, then this is fine.  But typically, the host has the party menu planned and won’t have room for your contribution.  Arrive at the stated time or no more than fifteen minutes after.   Do not drink too much or bore everyone by dominating the conversation.  How to Know When it's Time to Leave? Leave the party when the...

  Etiquette 101: How-To be the Good Guest Ensure you are the guest who is always welcomed back by following these simple "good guest" rules. You have just been invited to a dinner party!  What do you do now?  Do you ask if you can bring anything?  Do you thank the host for the invitation?  Additionally, on the date of the affair do you arrive fashionably late, at the stated time, or early?  Hostess gift?  Is it necessary? A polite guest thanks the host for the invitation and offers to bring something to dinner, like a bottle of wine.  Although the gracious host declines, a good guest takes a hostess gift anyway.  This gift could be wine, flowers, or a small box of chocolates.  However, knowing your host's preferences, hobbies, and passions is golden. For example, one guest gave me a wine book as a hostess gift because he knew I love wine and teach "Wine Etiquette".  His name is o...