The Polite One's Insights

  Celebrating the new year with a new home?  If so, you may be considering a housewarming party to break the new place in.  Often homeowner hosts this commonplace party for close friends, family, and—perhaps—a few new neighbors.  The premise is that you are "warming your home with love." Not stuff from others. While gifts are common, they are typically small token gifts , such as candles, picture frames, wine, plants, or a coffee table book.  However, gifts should never be expected and never the focus.  No gift table.  It’s not polite. There seems to be a bit of confusion surrounding this simple tradition.  In fact, some are confusing this party with a bridal shower, even calling it a "housewarming shower."  Regrettably, some homeowners register and expect expensive gifts from their guests.  Frankly, there is no such thing as a housewarming shower.  A housewarming shower has never been a thing . Embarrassingly, w...

  Giving gifts during the holidays can be tricky, expensive, and, at times, embarrassing if we “regift” improperly.  Follow along as I cover what most have queried in the past.  Can Re-Gifting be Done Politely? Of course, but it must be done very carefully.  Here are the rules: The receiver shouldn’t know the original giver.  The gift must be in the original packaging and never used.  It shouldn’t be a unique or a useless gift.  The original card should be removed.  It should be something the giver is sure the receiver would want. General Gift-Giving Suggestions Often givers feel obligated so often don’t give thoughtful gifts .  Also, many are confused and do not know who they should give gifts to.  So, we should only give gifts to those whom we really want to give and consider the person as we choose the gift.  This also means that we can and should keep our gift-giving list intimate. Give from the heart. Some...

Happy holidays!  Welcome to the season of heightened and widely varying emotions and behaviors.  Holidays should bring us closer, but distractions often hinder our efforts.  Brick and mortar stores make it easier and easier to shop-till-you-drop by opening earlier and earlier.  Now the populous can push, shove, and sling never-ending profanities when they should be enjoying their pumpkin pie with family.  Alternately, there is always that kind person paying it forward by purchasing a cup of coffee for the customer behind him.  The barrage of unkind and kind behaviors makes me a bit dizzy each year.  You too?  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had a set of holiday rules everyone is required to read?  It would be even better if we all agreed to follow these rules.  Better yet, we all agree to use these rules going forward.  Now that would make all my holiday dreams come true.  We Are Not the Center of the Universe Surpris...

Exploring the Gift Mania Craze How and when did this happen?   It seems that suddenly, the masses consider most any occasion a gift-giving situation.   Taking it a greedy step further, the gift-crazed often create personalized gift-giving events.   Even worse, these gift-miners inform their dollar-poor guests what gifts they prefer.   To that, I must say, “Yikes!”   Some etiquette rules evolved due to this phenomenon.   Whereas in the past, it was inappropriate to mention ‘no gifts please’ in birthday, graduation, vow renewal, and anniversary party invitations, now we can.   It was inevitable.   After all, when so many feel entitled to a gift, we need a little guidance.     Let us try to remember the basics.   Gifts should be given from the heart and because we want to give.   Most importantly, we should never expect one for any occasion.   Here is a bit of Q & A to help get us back on the proper etiquette roa...

Some feel obligated to give gifts and thus don’t give thoughtful gifts.  Also, many are confused and do not know who they should give gifts to.  So, we should give gifts to only those with whom we want to give and consider the person’s preferences as we choose the gift .  This also means that we can and should keep our gift-giving list intimate. Gift Givers Give from the Heart Give something you feel the recipient would like. It’s only good manners . Give to only to those you wish to give to. Gift Cards are Fine As with other types of gifts, give the gift card the receiver would want. Know the receiver well. Gift Receivers Wear Your Happy Face Receive each gift with a positive response even if it isn’t what you would have chosen for yourself. A gift is special. Regift Carefully This can be done if handled correctly. The receiver shouldn’t know the original giver. The gift must be in the original packaging and never used. It shouldn’t be a unique, p...