The Polite One's Insights

  Proper Attire Etiquette Advice Q & A Most questions I receive, as an etiquette professional, concern attire choice.   Many are about what to wear to a wedding, especially for the mothers of the bride and groom.   Occasionally, questions are unique, like, "What to wear for a movie premiere".     From the flood of questions I receive about attire, it seems likely that you might have your own.   What follows are a few of my favorites.   Hopefully, your question will be answered here. What is proper attire anyway? Q: What is the definition of proper attire ? A: Proper attire is the expected clothing choice for places we share with others:   the public forum, function, or situation.  What is cocktail attire? Q: T he invitation states "cocktail attire" for the August evening wine and cheese engagement party for my son and his fiancée.   There are 100+ guests invited to this Louisiana party.   Most likely people wi...

  We have become a very casual society, which is positive in most situations. However, please dress up to attend live performances, such as ballet and opera. Although you may find others wearing jeans to the ballet or opera, it is in 'good taste' to dress up. Since many go to the ballet directly after work, in most cases, business attire is perfect.   Please avoid wearing jeans.   For Weddings Yes, wearing black for weddings is quite common now and very appropriate. It is no longer considered a faux pas.    More by the Polite One Casual is More Than One Style How should cotillion staff handle inappropriate attire? Are Good Manners Dead?

  Dear Polite One I have a question regarding cotillion etiquette.  I enrolled my 12-year-old daughter in cotillion and was very careful to follow all extensive rules about attire.    I have a problem with how the Cotillion staff enforced their dress code rules.  What follows is what happened. Abiding with all rules, I bought a dress from the cotillion section of an upper-class clothier. The straps of the dress appeared to be within the guidelines, but I thought we’d still be safe due to a dressy sweater that was included. Once at the cotillion, my daughter visited the restroom while I went to the cotillion restaurant to get her a juice.  When I returned, I couldn’t find her anywhere and began to panic.  As I frantically searched, a father yelled over to me that my daughter was inappropriately dressed and wasn’t allowed in.  He also stated that she was waiting outside the building.   It was nighttime. Yes, she was outside, b...

  This dress can also work for smart casual.) Casual Dress Code Definitions This dress code requires quality clothing, such as slacks with a classy top (for either gender), a knee-length skirt with a sophisticated top or a dress appropriate for visiting a restaurant. A jacket is optional but is an excellent addition. Business Casual Business casual doesn’t imply sloppy or t-shirts and jeans.  This dress code stresses quality slacks, sweater sets, polo shirts and sweaters, and dress shirts.  A sports jacket is a nice addition and gives instant credibility.   Smart Casual   This dress code is commonly used in the UK, where the word "smart" isn't automatically associated with a person's intelligence.  Smart casual refers to dressing "smartly".  So, clean, neat, dressy, yet not too formal attire is best.  Confused?  Well, there is a good reason for this, as there is no clear-cut definition for it.  Basi...

  Flash from the past!   I was invited, along with a history professor, to offer my professional opinion of the Royal Wedding with the KCRA morning news crew.   With the time difference between England and California, we began at 3 am.   Whew!   Nevertheless, it was a hoot!   Here are just a few of the videos. Please Read Just the Facts: Royal Wedding Reception Etiquette Etiquette for Cruise Ship Destination Weddings From an Etiquette Point of View: Royal Wedding/Reception Primer

An Interview With an Etiquette Professional   Throughout the year, I receive numerous requests for etiquette advice from writers.  Many wonder how etiquette has changed in the last fifty years and what those changes are.  Some even consider the relevance of etiquette.   What follows are my responses to an inquiry about women’s social graces in today’s world.  What has changed; what remains the same; how should a woman act in a world full of cellphones, distractions, and evolving gender roles? For many decades, women have fought for equality.  This led the movement from housewife to coworker.  No doubt the movement is a positive, consider how this affected our children’s finer skills not taught in schools, such as manners and social skills training.    Most children learn these skills only at home or in classes such as mine.  Still, no classes compare to the daily interaction with parents.  Consider th...