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How to Dress for Your Special Occasion

 suit and tie

Proper Attire Etiquette Advice Q & A

Most questions I receive, as an etiquette professional, concern attire choice.  Many are about what to wear to a wedding, especially for the mothers of the bride and groom.  Occasionally, questions are unique, like, "What to wear for a movie premiere".    From the flood of questions I receive about attire, it seems likely that you might have your own.  What follows are a few of my favorites.  Hopefully, your question will be answered here.

What is proper attire anyway?

Q: What is the definition of proper attire?

A: Proper attire is the expected clothing choice for places we share with others:  the public forum, function, or situation. 

What is cocktail attire?

Q: The invitation states "cocktail attire" for the August evening wine and cheese engagement party for my son and his fiancée.  There are 100+ guests invited to this Louisiana party. 

Most likely people will flow outside the home.  Would a tab collar, starched white shirt, and no tie under a dark suit jacket be proper for a man? Since it will be hot, is it appropriate to take off the jacket?  And is it appropriate to leave the shirt untucked beneath the jacket, as men's styles are now showing?

A: Cocktail attire is a suit for men and the little black dress or its equivalent for women.  Men may be a tad adventurous with their attire, but the shirt should be tucked in.  An untucked shirt is eye candy for photoshoots and actors.  If the suit is of high quality, the tie could be optional.  Nevertheless, it is part of the costume.  Removing the jacket may be fine when outdoors.  Just watch what other guests are doing.  Typically, men suffer in silence with jackets securely in place. 

LA Red-Carpet Movie Attire

Q: I'm a male actor in a movie premiering next week—red carpet and all.  I don't have a clue what to wear! The LA premiere is at 6 pm; the actors and director are not well known.  Genre is romance. Help!

A: Dress codes for these events are difficult to navigate, even if we know the particulars – venue, time of day, and actors involved.  The safe choice is a tuxedo.  Since this is LA (quirky, fun), you could be daring with a tie and shirt; skipping the tie entirely is fine.  Alter your attire based on how well the premiere is publicized.  This might be one of your best gauges for how formal the event may be.

Sexy attire for hubby’s medical residency graduation?

Q: My husband will be graduating from a medical residency for a specialty in anesthesiology soon. The event is in late June in the evening. My choice of attire is a knee-length cotton/Lycra® sundress in a tulip print, hot-pink trim, and hot pink small bows on the thin hot pink straps and a back pleat.  I am a size 6, D-cup with a thin waist.  My husband falls out of his chair when I put it on.  What is your opinion?

A: It may be best to nix the sexy attire since this graduation will, most likely, be a conservative affair.  After all, the focus should on your husband as the professional, the doctor.  Guests and other graduates should be looking at him and not your D-cup. 

The safest choice is the little black dress or its equivalent.  Pair it with a jacket or wrap, and please watch the cleavage. 

Wow!  This is formal.

Q: My husband and I are planning to go to an evening black-tie charity dinner this week. It is fall/winter here in Australia. My husband will probably wear a black suit, white shirt, with red silk tie and vest. I am not sure what to wear. Shoes?   

A: Black tie equals tuxedos for men.  A formal evening dress, long or short depending on the event, is best for women.  Usually, charity events are more formal, so long seems more appropriate.  Choose a color that compliments your complexion, but is not too bright—no red.  Pairing your dress with a shawl might be a good choice if the weather is cooler. 

Your shoes should match your outfit and can be open or closed-toe.  If you choose open-toed, do not wear nylons, as it is viewed as a fashion faux pas. 

More by The Polite One

Casual is More Than One Style

What is the Etiquette for Today's Woman?

Proper Attire Note

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