Etiquette 101: How-To be the Good Guest
Ensure
you are the guest who is always welcomed back by following these simple
"good guest" rules.
You
have just been invited to a dinner party! What do you do
now? Do you ask if you can bring anything? Do you thank
the host for the invitation? Additionally, on the date of the affair
do you arrive fashionably late, at the stated time, or early?
Hostess
gift? Is it necessary?
A
polite guest thanks the host for the invitation and offers to bring something
to dinner, like a bottle of wine. Although the gracious host
declines, a good guest takes a hostess gift anyway. This gift could
be wine, flowers, or a small box of chocolates. However, knowing
your host's preferences, hobbies, and passions is golden. For example, one
guest gave me a wine book as a hostess gift because he knew I love wine and
teach "Wine Etiquette". His name is on my permanent guest
list.
When
to arrive?
Although
we are a country of many cultures, we have managed to find a common view on how
we value time. In fact, we value time highly. Therefore,
it is best to arrive at the stated time or no more than fifteen minutes
after.
When
to leave?
Even
though behaving as the "clueless guest" is not our intention, when we
overstay our welcome, we certainly are. Regrettably, there is no
one-size-fits-all etiquette rule to help us out with this issue
either. Luckily, watching body language usually gives us the answer
to our "when to leave" question.
Often
the host signals the end of the evening. Usually, this is a
subtle gesture, such as offering coffee while mentioning your drive home, or
asking what your plans are for tomorrow. More overtly, a host may begin
clearing the table, which is an obvious signal that they would like guests to
leave.
What
to do if you don't like the food?
Most
people would drool over a beautifully grilled piece of salmon, but not me; I
detest fish. It's not that I am a fussy person. The
reality is that we all have our likes and dislikes. Nevertheless, at
a dinner party, our host just may serve something we loathe. Openly
rejecting the offering is insulting, and it is impolite. Therefore, we need a
plan of action.
If
the host is plating the meal, request a small portion of the
offensive offering (pick your polite reason). Move the food around using your
knife and fork while talking. Slowly take bites of the food you
like, while merely sampling what you do not. Most will not notice the food you
are avoiding. When the meal is nearly finished, move the remainder
of the food to one side of the plate. Walla! It appears as if you
finished most of your meal. If the meal is served family-style,
you're in luck. Just do not choose the food options you dislike.
Break
or spill something?
Accidents
happen. A good host expects the possibility of glass causalities,
wine spills, and food flying off a fork. It happens. But
what if you are the guilty party?
Let's
suppose you attend a dinner party and wine is served with the meal. After
dinner, everyone moves to the living room for conversation and a game. Most
take their wine glasses with them. While playing the game, one of
the game pieces knocks over your wine glass and it breaks.
Ouch! Broken glass and red wine soak the carpet. What to
do now? Even though this is an accident, you are responsible for the
broken glass and stain. So, offer to pay for the glass while sopping
up the red wine with a towel.
The
Good Guest
As
an invited guest, always remember to offer to bring something, take a hostess
gift, arrive and depart on time, taste what is prepared, appear to appreciate
it, and take responsibility for accidents. Include, using your best
manners and you will be on everyone's guest list.
Enjoy
the evening!
Please
Read
Holiday
Dinner Party Etiquette: Minding Your Manners During the Holidays
Inviting, Planning, and Sending
Guests Out the Door
What is the
Etiquette for Today's Woman?
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