An Interview With an Etiquette Consultant About Father's Day

Father’s Day Etiquette

Poor neglected Dad.  Is he not as important as Mom?  By all the ads for Grad and Dad, it appears not.  As we approach Father’s Day, a local network contacted me – because I’m an etiquette consultant -- with a few questions about how dads should be treated on their very special day.  What follows is the result of that interview. 

Question  

Even though June is considered the season of graduation, how do we juggle dad’s day and the grad?  Aren’t they both important?  What to do? 

Answer 

Separate the two: grad and dad.  Celebrate on two different days.  Do not use the same gift for dad as you did for mom.  But use the same sentiment.   

Remember that your father is a person who has particular likes and dislikes just as we all do.  Give something you know he will enjoy based on what you know about him.  If he likes to golf give him something golf-related—perhaps a subscription to a golfing magazine.   

Question  

How to make fathers feel special if there are dad and stepdad, or a gay father?   

Answer 

It really doesn’t matter if a father is gay.  He’s still your father, so treat him just as any other father.  Nevertheless, if there are more than one father, do something special for all.  Alternate the actual date between dads, while doing something for all on other days. 

For example, this year on Father’s Day choose one father and celebrate the day first with him.  Discuss this with your other father (s) first, while also choosing a date for his celebration.  Next year, celebrate Father’s Day with the other father. 

Of course, you could celebrate the actual day with all of your fathers.  You’d still have to choose with whom to begin the day.  That would be one long day, though, if you have more than two fathers!  

Question  

How do you celebrate when there is no dad? 

Answer 

We can still celebrate the person who stands in as dad--if there is such a person.  I was one of those who didn’t have a father.  There was a time when I had a “father figure” in my life.  So, I designated him as my father for the day.  Thus, I showered the man with cupcakes and cards.  

Question  

You have two moms?  Do you acknowledge Father’s Day?  

Answer 

Everyone is different.  So perhaps some lesbian mothers wouldn’t mind and might enjoy the honor of being both mother and father.  However, it is best that we don’t honor one of them as "dad".  Both are Mom.  We would just honor both moms on Mother's Day.

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