Birthday Party Etiquette
So, you want to host a special party that is in good taste. What to do?
Considering
that a child's birthday party is a gift-giving event, there is some etiquette
to consider. Since you are your child's best teacher, it's best you
know what this etiquette is; and as such, you can use this event as a teaching
tool. Involve your child in the planning of the party with a
focus on his/her guests in mind: refreshments, activities, thank you gifts, and
notes.
Here's a bit of Q & A to help you and your child to
plan politely.
Dear Polite One,
I am inviting all my daughter's friends to her 12th birthday party. However, she wants her three closest friends to stay afterward for a sleepover. When the party is over, how can I politely dismiss the eight girls who are not invited to the sleepover?
Sleepover,
Dear Sleepover,
Ouch! To
help your daughter see how this might appear, ask her to help you plan the
party. Of course, begin with your limitations, such as
budget. During the planning process, ask her how she thinks the
"sleepover rejects" might feel. In essence, she would be
labeling some of her friends as better than others. More than
likely, she didn't consider how this could cause hurt feelings.
It
is best she concludes that a different date is best for the sleepover.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Dear Polite One,
Is it acceptable to discontinue sending invitations to a child’s birthday party to friends and family who seldom or ever attend? I feel like sending invitations knowing that they, most likely, will not attend is simply asking them to send a gift.
Omitting Invitations
Dear
There
are no mandatory guests for birthday parties—even grandparents. Invite only
those your child wants in attendance.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Dear Polite One,
I am hosting a birthday party for my son at a family entertainment facility with 33 children and 36 adults invited. I am covering the cost of the children which includes a buffet and unlimited drinks, rides, tokens for games, cake, and gift bags. How do I word on the invitation that parents need to pay their own costs?
Pay Up
Dear Pay Up,
There
is no polite way to state that invited guests pay for the
party. Your alternatives are to pay for parents (all guests), state
that if parents wish to attend, there is a $7 fee (you
are not inviting them), or not invite them at
all.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Dear Polite One,
Is
it proper to host a birthday party for a four-year-old a tad before her
birthday? When should I send the invitations?
Early Birthday Party
Dear Early Birthday Party,
Hosting
the party any time near her birthday is fine. You may send invitations two to
six weeks before the date of the party.
Please
do not mention anything about gifts.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Dear Polite One,
Friends,
with whom we have not kept in touch, invited my husband and me to their
one-year-old son's birthday party. We have a prior commitment and
cannot attend. Although we are typically generous with our
gift-giving, I am struggling with the thought of sending a gift. I
feel that we only hear from them when there is a gift-giving event held in
their honor. I am starting to feel like they are looking for a
handout versus a friendship. What should I do?
Begging for Gifts
Dear Begging for Gifts,
No
worries: no gift is necessary. A birthday party for such a young
child is more for the parent's benefit, rather than the
children.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Dear Polite One,
My
child is invited to a birthday party for which we are unable to attend.
Are we obligated to send a gift even though this is not a family member or
close friend? My aunt says when you are invited to a party you are
expected to send a gift no matter what. Your advice would be extremely helpful!
Gift but Not Attending?
Dear Gift but Not Attending,
No. You are not obligated to give a gift. A card might be nice though. Some etiquette rules change in time. The old rule your aunt mentioned changed for the better.
Sincerely,
The Polite One
Please
Read
How Children Are Teaching Their
Parents Manners
Anti-Clueless Advice: How To Plan The
Perfect Graduation Party
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