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4 Issues of Proper Address: Envelope Etiquette

 envelope

There are so many possible variables when it comes to properly addressing an envelope, card, or letter.  This is especially true today with domestic partners and with ‘Ms.’ as a common option for women. 

Our confusion, especially for older people, is easy to understand when we take into consideration that traditionally widowed women would use the title ‘Mrs. husband’s first name’ instead of her first name. 

Today, however, in many locations women never use their husband’s first name.  So, what is proper these days in the world of correspondence?     

Addressing a Woman Who Uses Two Last Names on an Envelope

Dear Polite One,

How do I address a business/social gathering invitation to a female associate who uses both her maiden and married name?  For example:  if they are Denise Dailey-Markham and Dale is the husband?

Too Many Names

Dear Too Many Names,

You could list her name on the first line with his underneath.  We use this form for business letters quite often. 

Example

Denise Dailey-Markham

Dale Markham

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

How to Address the Envelope to a Couple?

Dear Polite One,

What is the correct style when you invite a couple for a function?

1) Do you address the invitation card as Mr. & Mrs. J. H. Smith. Or,

2) Mrs. & Mr. J. H. Smith

Visitor 

Dear Visitor,

It is Mr. and Mr. J.H. Smith.  However, if you use first names, it would be written: Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith or Jane and John Smith.  A man is never separated from his last name.  This is a very silly old rule that many still follow.

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

Is the Address Right Adjusted or Centered?

Dear Polite One,

On the outer envelope, I’ve had conflicting advice on how to position the address.  Should the lines be horizontally centered as staggered, or left-justified, so the start of every line is in the same position? 

Outer Envelope Confusion

Dear Outer Envelope Confusion,

Centered is formal, but this is the form we use for the invitation—the inner envelope.  Because we must address these for the post office as well as for the guest, left-justify these. 

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

When to Use ‘Master’ On an Invitation for a Boy?

Dear Polite One,

At what age do you stop using Master and use Mr. on invitations to young males?  My daughter is in a debutante program and will be sending out party invitations to the escorts who are 17 and 18 years old.  Do we use Master or Mr.?

Mastering Invitations

Dear Mastering Invitations,

I can see the use of ‘Master’ will disappear soon, as this title has a negative connotation.  For now, here is a list of how to use titles for children:

Boys under the age of 7                      Master John Smith                    Dear John,

Boys 7-18                                            John Smith                                Dear John,

Man 18 or over                                    Mr. John Smith                         Dear Mr. John Smith,

Most sincerely,

The Polite One

More by The Polite One

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