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How to Raise a Thankful Child

little girl; white girl; girl in pretty dress

Previously Published by Sierra Style and is entirely revised and rewritten. 

Parenting involves more than just keeping our children safe and well-fed.  Our responsibilities extend to teaching our children fundamental life skills preparing them for a well-mannered, socially savvy future. Truly, your child will have no better teacher in his life.  We all recognize this.  So, as teachers, how do we teach our children the essential life skill ‘to be thankful’? 

Where to Begin

It seems like we could simply tell our children to say, “thank you” and that should be sufficient.  But for our children to learn thankfulness we need to do more than just talking-the-talk.  Thankfulness is something they must feel.  Still, we must begin with those magic words, while teaching basic manners.  Basic manners and expressing our thankfulness help our children learn, and feel, empathy and respect, which are vital tools for teaching our children to be thankful.  In other words, we must walk-the-walk. 

Can’t My Child Learn Thankfulness by Receiving More Gifts?

One of the biggest problems we face as parents these days is our busy schedule.  We work long hours, our travel time is extensive, and our children’s schedules require professional organizing skills by age seven.  Add to this mix that many of us tend to compensate for the lack of time spent with our children by buying them ‘things’ and it is easier to understand why our children may not be as thankful as they could be.

Continuing to give our children more ‘things’ creates an expectation of receiving more and never having enough.  Gifts should be reflective, time appropriate, and given for a reason.  Typical gift-giving events are fine if there is some restraint involved. 

For example, a young child doesn’t require 20 gifts for her birthday.  Yet, rewarding a child for an accomplishment such as raising his grades is very appropriate. 

Teach the Importance of Giving

Learning to give to others is another valuable exercise to help create empathy and thankfulness.  Praise your child for performing special favors such as helping a neighbor who recently underwent surgery or for volunteering during the holiday season.  

Today, entire families are gathering items for children in need, as well as choosing to spend Thanksgiving providing food for the homeless instead of gaining a few pounds at the family dinner table.   

Write Thank-You Notes

Sit with your children to write thank-you notes for gifts and for special favors.  A great example of this is for your child to write a thank-you note to the parent of his friend who not only hauled his group of friends to a recent event, but also chaperoned without complaining.  Children won’t realize that this is something for which to be thankful without parental intervention. The point is that we want to demonstrate that good behavior should be recognized. 

Be The Model of Thankfulness and Giving

Finally, to teach we must first model positive behaviors.  When we model thankful behavior, our children learn quickly.  Becoming a thankful person is a learned behavior.  So, when your children behave politely or without provocation perform thoughtful tasks, such as clearing the dinner table, behave in a thankful manner.  Be thankful, demonstrate thankful behavior, and your child will become a thankful person.

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