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Pageants and Young Ladies: Why Become a Pageant Judge?

 

NAMISS Contestants

Typically, I would offer etiquette advice here or some sort of story related to the concept of civility.  Not this time.  I'm shaking it up a bit based on a very recent experience, one I was surprised that I enjoyed. 

My partner and I were asked to judge the Miss CA Teen pageant (Northern California) for National American Miss.  My first thought was to politely decline.  Images of "Little Miss Sunshine" danced in my head and the very thought of makeup on a little girl turned my tummy. 

What is This Pageant About Anyway?

Thankfully, I didn't reply immediately and instead did a little research.  NAMISS doesn't allow makeup on younger ladies and only allows a touch on older teens. Refreshing.  Inner beauty and future goals are a focus.  Now I was intrigued.  But what type of young lady and more importantly what type of parent would encourage participation?  This is important to me and became a deciding point. 

What I found is that young people and their parents consider this pageant and preparing for it a stepping-stone in their child's future.  Case in point, scoring is based on communication and presentation skills, and poise.  I teach these skills – the same skills employers value – which ultimately draws many parents and contestants.  Surprisingly, I became a convert and accepted this honor.

Judging is Hard Work!

Judging is actually a difficult task.  These young ladies prepare for months, some for years, for this and other pageants.  They possess communications skills, as a teacher, I applaud, and all appeared kind, considerate, and focused on their future goals. 

These young ladies are also dedicated to serving their community, including volunteering.  To judge them while knowing how hard they work, was incredibly difficult indeed.  But judge we did.  Moreover, we are both glad we accepted the honor. 

We found that judging is a huge part of helping contestants become the person they strive to be.  To that end, we offered helpful comments on our judging sheets.  That doesn't compare, not even close, to what they have had to do to get to where they are now; but it was all we could offer in the short period we shared with them.

May I Keep Them?

As usual, I feel so attached to all of them as I usually do with my students and clients.  I admire their strength and focus.  I know many of them will become future leaders, doctors, and some will simply become actors.  In addition, all have grown through the process, including us. 

A Little Advice to Parents

Since I'm an etiquette teacher, you knew there'd be an etiquette reference included...right??  So, what advice do I offer the parents of the young ladies?  Well, you know how hard your daughters have worked to get here.  You know how determined they all are.  You know how focused they are on how to present themselves in a positive manner.  But do you realize how you are being perceived?  Yes, you are not being judged.  Still, we do notice, everyone does. 

This situation isn't much different from when a person accompanies his/her spouse to a business function.  The spouse's behavior and attire are noticed.  Now, I doubt any of us, especially the team from Etiquette Now, would judge a young lady harshly due to her parents' behavior or attire.  We definitely didn't.  We didn't even try matching parents to contestants; we had our virtual blinders on.  But others might.  So, be very careful as you go forward during pageant season.  Try to be a matching set considering how socially savvy and neat in appearance you are. 

Note

I have since retired from our business, Etiquette Now! and no longer teach.  Every day was precious during those days, as helping others feel confident and valued changed my life for the better.  Hugs to my former clients.  I will never forget you.

More from The Polite One

Coffee House Etiquette or Want a @#&% With That Latte?

Beware Sharing Too Much & Hurting Others on Social Networking Sites  

Use Your Best Manners When Visiting the Zoo

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