NAMISS Contestants
Typically,
I would offer etiquette
advice here or some sort of story related to the concept of civility. Not this time. I'm shaking it up a bit based on a very
recent experience, one I was surprised that I enjoyed.
My
partner and I were asked to judge the Miss CA Teen pageant (Northern
California) for National American Miss. My
first thought was to politely decline.
Images of "Little Miss Sunshine" danced in my head and the
very thought of makeup on a little girl turned my tummy.
What is This Pageant About Anyway?
Thankfully,
I didn't reply immediately and instead did a little research. NAMISS doesn't allow makeup on younger ladies
and only allows a touch on older teens. Refreshing. Inner beauty and future goals are a
focus. Now I was intrigued. But what type of young lady
and more importantly what type of parent would encourage participation? This is important to me and became a deciding
point.
What
I found is that young people and their parents consider this pageant and
preparing for it a stepping-stone in their child's future. Case in point, scoring is based on communication
and presentation skills, and poise. I
teach these skills – the same skills employers value – which ultimately draws
many parents and contestants. Surprisingly,
I became a convert and accepted this honor.
Judging is Hard Work!
Judging
is actually a difficult task. These
young ladies prepare for months, some for years, for this and other
pageants. They possess communications
skills, as a teacher, I applaud, and all appeared kind, considerate, and
focused on their future goals.
These
young ladies are also dedicated to serving their community, including volunteering. To judge them while knowing how hard they
work, was incredibly difficult indeed.
But judge we did. Moreover, we
are both glad we accepted the honor.
We
found that judging is a huge part of helping contestants become the person they
strive to be. To that end, we offered helpful
comments on our judging sheets. That
doesn't compare, not even close, to what they have had to do to get to where
they are now; but it was all we could offer in the short period we shared with
them.
May I Keep Them?
As
usual, I feel so attached to all of them as I usually do with my students and
clients. I admire their strength and
focus. I know many of them will become
future leaders, doctors, and some will simply become actors. In addition, all have grown through the
process, including us.
A Little Advice to Parents
Since
I'm an etiquette teacher, you knew there'd be an etiquette reference
included...right?? So, what advice do I
offer the parents of the young ladies? Well,
you know how hard your daughters have worked to get here. You know how determined they all are. You know how focused they are on how to
present themselves in a positive manner.
But do you realize how you are being perceived? Yes, you are not being judged. Still, we do notice, everyone does.
This
situation isn't much different from when a person accompanies his/her spouse to
a business function. The spouse's behavior
and attire are noticed. Now, I doubt any
of us, especially the team from Etiquette Now, would judge a young lady harshly
due to her parents' behavior or attire. We
definitely didn't. We didn't even try
matching parents to contestants; we had our virtual blinders on. But others might. So, be very careful as you go forward during
pageant season. Try to be a matching
set considering how socially savvy and neat in appearance you are.
Note
I
have since retired from our business, Etiquette Now! and no longer teach. Every day was precious during those days, as
helping others feel confident and valued changed my life for the better. Hugs to my former clients. I will never forget you.
More
from The Polite One
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Beware Sharing
Too Much & Hurting Others on Social Networking Sites
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