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Voices of our children: Does having good manners matter?

 friends; children; girls

Studies indicate that treating others well, or using good manners, helps us build stronger relationships in business and our social lives.   This seems obvious.  After all, don't we all want to be treated kindly?

Nevertheless, what do our young people think?  In their eyes, is using good manners at home or at school important?  Additionally, what do they consider good manners?  After reading endless articles of children staging fights just to record them for YouTube, I feared that they could care less about manners.  Surprisingly, from my interviews, I found that this is far from true. 

Joshua of Sacramento, CA Knows What Good Manners Are

Joshua, a 10-year-old living in Sacramento, California believes that good manners are extremely important.  When asked what good manners are, Joshua did not hesitate to state, “A person is well-mannered when he says please, thank you, and excuse me.  And we don’t ask for things when we are in someone else’s home.”  He had specific reasons to believe that good manners are important in his life: “When using good manners, you can get what you want without having to repeat it.  

He continues, "Exhibiting good manners is important at school because teachers are helping you to get into college and we should be grateful.”  All of this seems quite reasonable considering that attending college, typically, helps us prepare for a bright and profitable future. 

Marisa of Davis, CA Believes in Behaving Well

Venturing a bit west of Sacramento, a group of young people from Davis graciously stopped to chat about their views on this subject.  Marisa, a lovely, bright 12-year-old, believes behaving well is the meaning of good manners. She thinks that when we do not use our best manners, we can be misunderstood. 

Tommy and Ryan Choose to be Polite.  No Profanity

Her friend, Tommy, chimes in with an even clearer view stating, "Those with good manners are polite."  He continues, "Polite people respect others by making good eye contact when talking, and they don’t interrupt.”

Additionally, “If we are rude and don’t use good manners, people might think that is our personality.  We should want to make a good impression.”  Ryan, also 12, completely agrees, “That we should be polite and use no profanity because you can’t ‘undo’ a bad impression.” 

What do the 13-Year-Olds Think?

Luckily, a couple 13-year-olds wanted to add their opinions to the mix and did so quite well.  Aggie believes that we should want to appear polite because we do not want to look unsophisticated.  In addition, John, a very cerebral young man, states that good manners are, “…being considerate, polite, and respectful of others.”

Interestingly, although he agrees that good manners are important, he believes that we use a different set of manners for different situations.  He elaborates, “It really depends on the situation.  If interviewing for a job, you would be a bit more reserved and not show as much of your personality. Of course, you would not insult the person; you would be respectful and act politely." He adds, "Whereas, in a social situation, you can be more direct showing more of your personality, remembering always to be respectful and polite.” 

  • Wow!  John nailed it here!

In Summary

Although this represents a small sample of our young, it offers some hope of many more who may also believe that manners and civility are important.

More by The Polite One

Proper Etiquette When Giving & Receiving Gifts

Coffee House Etiquette or Want a @#&% With That Latte?

Beware Sharing Too Much & Hurting Others on Social Networking Sites  


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