How to Enjoy Family During the Holidays and Stay Sane

Steps to Follow For Stress-Free Family Gatherings

The family dynamic is changing ever faster and diversifying with multiple parental figures, spouses, sets of grandparents, and stepsiblings to visit and host during the holidays. Fold into this crazy mixture, different religions, ethnicities, and political leanings and it may be difficult to get along and enjoy this holiday season. Therefore, we need a game plan.

Schedule and Separate

If hosting, it is best to schedule different times for the divorced and never mention the former spouse unless asked directly. Separation is best.

Speaking of separation, keep combatants as far apart as possible. State the rules upfront: no discussion of ...usual button-pushing topics. Simply, rules should include avoidance of politics or religion during family visits unless everyone shares the same beliefs.

For those guests visiting from out of town, reserve private time to visit—unless this isn't your favorite person. If hosting the visiting family person, try to have activities planned for him or her. Notify nearby family so they may pay their respects.

As a Guest, Deflect

Dress conservatively and in good taste. Dress up a bit.

Offer to assist with preparations and clean-up.

Don’t drone on about yourself or talk too much.

Arrive and leave on time.

Avoid discussing controversial topics or anything that could cause conflict.

Don't ask potentially embarrassing questions in front of others: "Did you find a job yet?" "Are you dating yet (to a teen)?" "How's that rehab going?"

When tempers flare, smile and remind everyone about the focus of the day—togetherness.

Agree to disagree.

Suggested Dinner Conversation

Activities of the year.
Ask children what they want to do when they grow up.
Cultural events and local news are great options.
Play verbal games.
Ask everyone for what he or she is most grateful.

More by The Polite One

How to Survive The Holidays When Daily Life Interferes

How-To Avoid the Holiday-Etiquette Fail

Holiday Dinner Party Etiquette: Minding Your Manners During the Holidays

Comments

Is Using a Coupon on a Date Appropriate? First Date?

Good Idea Or Not? With the state of the economy, coupon clipping is becoming a national sport. It seems a natural evolution due to our need to purchase items we want at the lowest price point possible. This need is evident by the rapid popularity of coupons-for-everything websites like Groupon . Since coupon usage seems commonplace, using a coupon to pay for dinner appears a smart move. However, it just may not be such a great idea when it applies to the date . Frankly, using a coupon while on a date is not an etiquette faux pas. Logically, a coupon or gift certificate is as good as cash. Nevertheless, as we all know, perception is everything. Moreover, on a first date, and even the first few dates, both parties are sizing each other up. Who is this person? What are his/her quirks? Do I even like his/her appearance? ...

Etiquette 101: Top Three Gum Chewing No-No’s

Smacking, Popping, Nauseating Behavior …Oh My! Gum chewing has been around for decades and for the most part, it’s inoffensive. However, there are those times when gum chewing, especially smacking, is frowned upon. Sometimes – strangely enough – it can even affect our future and how others view us. Read on to learn how. Not at a wedding! The wedding march begins as the bride walks the procession. Ah, the lovely bride in her flowing gown smiling at her soon-to-be spouse. All in the crowd stand as she floats down the aisle. At once, her expression changes, she stops, as her guests’ heads turn toward alien sounds coming from the front row. Smack, pop…yep, it’s the sounds of the ill-mannered gum chewer. Unfortunately, this scene is playing out every day somewhere in our lovely US of A. Why is this of importance? The simple answer is that the gum chewer’s smacking and popping d...

Etiquette 101: How-to Host an Adult Birthday Party That Will Please Your Guests

Birthday Party Etiquette Hosting an adult birthday party can be tricky since many don't realize it isn't a gift-giving event. If gifts are expected, the birthday baby could appear greedy. Imagine an adult birthday party resembling a child's party focusing on gifts--very silly, indeed. On the positive side, because gifts are not the focus, it opens up the possibility of hosting our own. This is a plus for those of us who view our friends as the best birthday present. Now we can have our cake and eat it too! To assist us with hosting a party that will be viewed as positive and polite, here's a bit of birthday party etiquette Q & A. Dear Polite One, I invited 30 people (15 couples) to a birthday party I'm hosting for a 45-year-old male. I designed the invitations to look like a ticket stub, which includes a door prize stub. My question is this: What are appropriate door prizes? What should be...

The Polite One's Insights

Search This Blog