Etiquette 101: How to write a Condolence Card or Letter

The Bones of a Sympathy Card or Letter

All sympathy cards and letters must be handwritten. No shortcuts. It must be personal, reflect your relationship with the deceased or survivor, and sympathetic.

Begin your letter with “Dear” and end with sincere sympathy.

Example:

My most sincere sympathy
With love and heartfelt sympathy for you and your family
My affection and thoughts are with you.

Make it short but thorough.

The bereft may not want to read a long, wordy document but would appreciate hearing from those who care and offer support.

Example:

Juan, I am deeply sorry for your loss. Even though I didn’t know your mother, I realize how much she meant to you. Your stories of her trips always brightened my day. Anything you need, just ask. I am here for you.

Offer of Help Option: Walker and I are dropping dinner off all week.

Connect with a memory.

Example:

Your mother was always kind to me. I remember when she coached me for my chemistry final in high school. If not for her, I may not be where I am today.

Grieving does not follow a timeline.

The bereaved may break down months to years from the actual date of death. If you are a friend or family member, be there when that person needs a hug and encourage talking about the loss. Most important: listen.

Please Read

Importance of Thank You Notes

Etiquette 101: Courtesy, Consideration, and Kindness Matters Even in the Darkest Days

Beware Sharing Too Much & Hurting Others on Social Networking Sites

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