Everyday Manners: Middle Schoolers Teach Us About Manners

Our Young Teens Speak Up 

Middle school age children are usually associated with shrugged shoulders, rolling eyes, and contrived drama.  After all, they are just learning how to be a teen.  It can be a confusing time, as all of us who have lived through it can attest.  Even so, are today's middle schoolers well-mannered?  Are they well-mannered enough to teach manners to little ones?  How would they do so?  The etiquette teacher in me wants to know.  Consequently, I am off to interview 12 to 14-year-olds in my Davis, CA community.    

Confident and Responsible

What surprised me from the beginning was how direct these young people are, even the 12-year-olds.  All made excellent eye contact, were poised, and confident—very well-mannered. I expected that at least some would find my question odd, but no.  They all found it interesting; with some stating that they had not considered their role in younger people's lives much.  That is not surprising considering their age.  However, those who verbalized this revelation also noted that since they realize it now, they would take their role more seriously in the future.  Interestingly, many adults don't come to this realization.  Ever. 

How would you teach a young child manners?

Nearly every young teen stated that they would teach by example.  They would show their student, not just tell them.  Incredibly all understood that it is equally important to teach body language, such as sitting correctly.  Social skills were high on the list of items to model as well, such as how to interact with others in a positive manner. 

Beatrice, age 14, asserted, "When I see them doing something disrespectful, I'd point it out asking them how they should have done it."  Kelly, also 14, adds, "I'd teach the child to be respectful to everyone no matter who they are or what they look like." 

Tess, age 13, suggests giving them examples, telling stories, and asking questions, such as "How do you want others to view you?" "How do you want to be treated?  She also believes that little ones want to be viewed as older.  She adds, "I would help them understand that if they act mature, others will treat them as if they are.  They will trust you more and you will get more out of it." 

Maylee, age 14, has a specific plan to teach manners.  She states, "I would begin by teaching the child to greet people politely.  After all, this is the first thing a person learns when studying another language: to greet people politely and not rude." 

Out of the thirty young people interviewed, not one found manners to be elitist or snobby.  All believed that it is an important element that helps build a more civil society.

Please Read

How Children Are Teaching Their Parents Manners

What do Good Manners mean to Middle Schoolers?

RAK in Davis: A remarkable young man displays kindness toward a stranger