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Table Manners 101

 Diners; dinner; table manners 

In Medieval England, wiping your mouth on the tablecloth was expected.  As was eating meat with your hands or off the tip of a sharp knife.  But today, we have a different idea of what good table manners are. 

Imagine sitting at a formal table and the person next to you leans over his plate as if protecting it from wolves, shovels food into his mouth, and burps loudly.  In truth, I can’t imagine sitting next to that person during any type of meal. 

Basic Table Manners Rules

  • Take a cough or sneeze attacks away from the table.  Once calm, return and apologize to other diners.
  • With a few coughs or sneezes, turn away from the table covering your mouth with your napkin.
  • Blow nose away from the table and never on your napkin.
  • Use all your manners at the table: please, thank you, excuse me and please pass the…
  • Elbows should be close to your sides, not flapping about, or placed on the table.
  • Cut and eat one bite at a time.
  • Chew with mouth closed and do not stuff your mouth.
  • If you are unsure of what to do, watch the host.
  • Always use the utensil that makes the most sense.
  • Communication is more important than food.

Do Not, Never, & No

  • Hover over your food; sit up straight.
  • Hold your utensils like shovels.
  • Reach.
  • Place a utensil on the table after it is used. 
  • Blow on hot food.
  • Apply lipstick, clean fingernails, or comb hair at the table.
  • Push food onto your fork with anything but a knife.

Bread & Butter Rules

  • Your bread plate is on your left above your forks.
  • Share the bread with others and take one piece at a time.
  • Put butter on your plate with the butter knife (if there is one).
  • Tear one piece of bread (roughly two bites) and butter only that piece.
  • Eat one piece of bread at a time.

Napkin Rules

  • Napkin belongs on the left of the place setting or on the plate for formal meals.
  • Place the napkin in your lap after everyone is seated.
  • If leaving the table momentarily, place the napkin to the left of the plate or on your chair.
  • Blot your mouth before taking a drink but leave the napkin as clean as possible.
  • When finished, place the napkin neatly to the right of the plate.

Rules Unique to Formal Meals

  • Enter the dining room when asked.
  • Look for your place card and stand behind that chair until everyone has entered.  Ladies may sit immediately.  Watch carefully for regional differences.
  • A menu card is often on your plate or between diners.
  • Expect a salt and pepper for each diner or for every two.
  • Wait until everyone has been served before picking up a fork.
  • Finger Bowls: dip fingers into the liquid and then tap lightly to dry them on your napkin.

Just Because You Asked

Suggested Courses for a Formal Meal

Soup, fruit, pasta, or shellfish

Fish if not serving shellfish or pasta

Entrée

Salad

Dessert

Cheese, fruit, coffee, cordials

More by The Polite One 

Linens & Centerpieces Defined

Table Utensils Defined

China & Glassware Defined

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